I hear you.
I hear you when your heart goes out to missing that one person in this mess. I hear you when you wish, how fancy it would have been to stay in the lockdown with that special one. I hear you when this pandemic is taking a toll on your mental health and you wish to feel a warm smile from your loved one. And I hear you even then when you wish, may all of this end soon.
It's hard. Did I say, it's not? Did anyone say, it's not? (If they did, they are lying).
In this critical time, one savior could have been, staying with our loved ones. But the sudden lockdowns have locked us in all odd sorts of places around this world. Unfortunately, the maximum of us, way far away from our loved ones. Everyone is stuck. Some feel why are they stuck in their homes, their parents are not allowing them to pursue their habits like smoking and drinking. Some feel why are they stuck alone in their flats, all of the work needs to be done by themselves. Some feel why are they stuck in hotels, it's not luxurious at all as it sounds. And some poor of us are damsels in distress. Not that we need our Prince Charming, but, who defies or denies a warm hug and a smile from the person we love. Be anyone anywhere, we all are desiring movement. Movement from this life, from this place, from this schedule. Unfortunately, somewhere deep down, we all understand, that it is a far fetched dream.
If I here specifically talk about love relationships, they have also become distant. If you are not one of those lucky ones to quarantine with your special someone, then, bless you with all the courage and mindfulness to sail through. Realizations are there, missings pangs more. What once was considered as granted, is now taken as a blessing. Who once was considered as an option, is now taken as the only one important. Probably lockdown has taught us who is important, what is important, and why they are important. Sitting right here, missing a few such people from my life, I feel a number of things will (at least can) help.
This global crisis is taking a toll on mental health. People are suffering from constant mood swings. We, Homo Sapiens are social beings. People's interaction is our basic necessity. Meeting them, talking with them, going out for lunch, dinner, or simply a coffee, was never before considered as luxury, as it is treated right now. Working from home virtually means a lot of screen time. It implements hearing, understanding, and analyzing everything through voices and emails. All of this can be stressful and painful. A piece of advice here is to keep constantly checking in with your loved ones. At times, a simple "Hey, how are you doing?", "Hey, I hope you are keeping well." text can console the stressed soul. These kind of texts are no more considered a formality, rather is now, a caring gesture. So, please do it often.
When I say check-in, it comes with the unsaid condition of giving them their own space. All of us are not blessed with the awareness to understand our emotions and triggers. Since we don't know the triggers, then we are not also equipped with the way out of it. At such confusing moments, constant check-in and pings can do more harm than benefit. So, lend them their space. Let them be on their own. Make them know that you are there if they wish to talk. But, don't poke them to share everything. When the mind is hassled, it draws lot of memories from the past, which can't be always shared with everyone. Hence, it's alright. Know it and trust them that you are important and they shall tell you when it's needed. Even if they don't, will the love decrease?
How is the lockdown looking for you? For me, it's majorly packed with cooking, cleaning, reading, and working out on my official deliverables. One thing that I seriously miss daily is pursuing my hobbies. I love to write and quill, I love to listen to music and read non-fiction content, along with working out to stay fit. Nevertheless, I am blessed to have a few loved ones around me who are pursuing my hobbies to keep me going. A person who never read has started reading and sharing the learnings with me. A person who never meditated, is doing it to such an extent that he reminds me to do my meditation daily. Well, this post is also one such push from a loved one! This helps! We all know what our near and dear ones love to do. Pursue their hobbies with them. Make a common time of the day to share whatever you have learnt or did throughout the day. Share articles, music, songs with them. Tell them what you think on what is happening in the world. Try debating with them. Research on a topic and discuss it out. It shall increase knowledge pool of both. Make them aware of your likings and hobbies, probably they may adapt it and it may do more good to them than to you. Try it. It helps.
Going online for the work is often nowadays right? Then why not go online for your loved ones. Pursuing things online has now become part and parcel of our lives. From working out to studying to meditating, dancing, learning cooking, new courses, meetings, researches, debating, discussing, everything now is online. Can we do these workout sessions with our loved ones? Can we pursue that common-interest course with them? Can we attend the webinar they have been looking forward, with them? Challenge them at games, study with them, explore the internet, or simply, prefer a video call over normal ones. If not human connection, maybe satellite connections can let these connections prosper and persist in this era of the Corona.
To put in a nutshell, this too shall pass but make sure that your relations and your loved ones have developed stronger bonds with you, by the end of this pandemic. Maybe then we can say, lockdown surely has done some great things.
Sending out loads of love to all those of you staying away from your loved ones. Don't forget to hug them and greet them with a big smile when you first meet them after all of this is over. Though this is the new normal for all of us, praying that you all meet them soon without any boundaries or fear of the spread of infection. Because trust me, they are a blessing.
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