Listen to the silence. it has so much to say....~ Rumi.
Ever spotted people who prefer to stay numb? Or someone who constantly stare outside the window when in a car? Or someone who have their own zen zones even in the crowd?
These are the people who prefer silence: of thoughts, expressions or actions. For them, staying silent is more comfortable than cracking up. They prefer to observe, listen and feel before they reply. At times, replying is not even necessary for them because they believe, silence is also an answer.
Silence is a tactic which can be adopted at any place, any time, with anyone. If you are a teacher, silence encourages more participation of students. If you are a leader, silence can lend the benefit of doubt. If you are a contributor to a discussion, silence can give you "tincture of time" (as tincture in medicine) which can lead to more intelligent, crisp, articulated and appropriate value addition to the discussion. On that note, all of us are aware how our parents have at times used this tactic against us!
But as it is said that few things are better said than done. Practicing silence is not easy. As per the Report by The British Association of Anger Management, more than one is ten people have trouble in controlling their anger and hence end up reacting to a situation. Hence, its essential for us to learn how to stay silent and calm, especially when we are not able to. Few of the practices listed here may help you stay silent when in stress or anger.
1. Meditation: This age old Buddhist technique helps to focus all your energy and thoughts onto one object, thought or activity for a particular period of time. It is also called as "Dhyana" and is practiced widely across the globe in various methods. A form of meditation popular in India is the "Vipassana" where mindfulness of thoughts, feelings as well as actions are used to gain insight into true nature of reality. This helps to understand one's own thoughts and the origin of them. Once one is aware about the origin and the consequence of a thought, then they can think of the response (of words or of silence) they can give to a particular situation. Nowadays apps like Calm and Headspace help people in meditating through teachings famous public speaker Andy Puddicombe.
2. Active Listening: People at times dont hear to listen, rather they hear to reply. Even before the speaker has completed, they have thought of an answer and are waiting to pose their points. This leads to missing on the important points of the speaker and one upping on what is already being said. Force yourself to listen without assumptions and interpretations before giving in to the impulse to speak. Try to understand the origin of the thought of the speaker. It shall help you to become an active as well as empathetic listener.
3. Personal time: If you wish to practice silence, then have some personal time slot in your daily routine. Many a times we confuse personal time as time with our loved ones, doing some activity, watching our favorite web series or listening to music. Personal time actually means time with yourself. Where its only you with your thoughts. Try not to get indulged with PC, phone or with people in your personal time. Do meditation with open eyes. See what is around you, how are you feeling about it, what sensations you are going through, what fears have been on your mind, how your day actually has been, what are few things that you could have done better. Such thoughts and reflections make you clearer in mind and at heart. They give you the answer to what you want and what you should do next.
We all are of age where we dont need solutions to our problems, rather we just need empathetic, non judgmental ears to hear us out. And this is only possible when the listener practices silence. If there are few people currently who practice silence and the world is so beautiful, then what if everyone practices silence at some point, wont the world be a better place to stay? After all, a meaningful silence is always better than meaningless words.
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